The Manomaya Kosha and the Practice of Surrender

Ancient yoga philosophy conceptualizes the body as having five different layers to our being-like layers of an onion.  These different Koshas or sheaths consists of:

• the outer physical body or anamaya kosha

• the energy body or pranamaya kosha

• the mind/emotional/sensory body or manomaya kosha

• the wisdom body or vijnanamaya kosha

  and the bliss body or anandamaya kosha.

When we start a physical yoga practice, we become most acutely aware of our physical body or annamaya kosha. Weakness and tightness are hard to ignore!  When we practice a little more consistently, we may develop an awareness of how the practices affect our energy body, or pranamaya kosha. We notice which poses or breath exercises feel energizing (like back bending or breath of fire) or which poses or breath work calm us (like child’s pose or three-part dirgha breath).

Once we progress into developing an internal awareness and connection to our breath, we may start to notice the constant soundtrack of our thoughts and emotions.  This layer of being is our manomaya kosha or the kosha associated with the mind, emotions and senses. This layer tends to dominate our being and can be so activated and over-indulged that it takes awhile for most of us to realize what is happening to the other layers of our being while this mental layer has its way with us. For example, a large part of the stress we feel as muscular tension or insomnia actually comes from within us and how we filter our experience through our senses and our minds. Yoga suggests that our true nature is presence with a quiet mind and balance in all five Koshas.

If, as the ancient enlightened yogis suggest, the path to freedom lies in residing in our true nature of quiet presence, why does the mind dominate? How in the heck do we keep this mental layer of our being from running amuck?

In our Western culture, we are taught from an early age to value mental logic and sharp analysis as the highest expression of intelligence and the highest aspirations of our educational system.  We care whether our kid gets into Stanford or Harvard, what they got on their SAT test or where someone got their Ph.D..

The idea that our thoughts define us also lies at the root of modern Western philosophy.  I think most people have heard (and many even believe without question) the famous philosophical idea from the in Descartes’ “I think. Therefore, I am” This philosophy strongly reinforces the fallacy of mind dominance in our culture by suggesting we don’t even exist if our minds aren’t chattering about! People who believe this clearly don’t meditate.

In contrast, yoga philosophy suggests that most of our thoughts- which are constantly distracting us from reality into the past and future and framing how we see ourselves and one another - might just be the reason why we suffer. Eastern practices such as yoga asks us to consider whether the opposite of Descarte’s theory might be true:  because we are, we think.    

But one thing everyone agrees on from east to west in the certainty that thoughts and emotions arise- all the time and without much pause in the action!  An oft repeated internet psudo-science myth claims that we have up to 70,000 thoughts per day!   However, science really hasn’t cracked exactly how many thoughts we actually have each day. We do know that there are a lot! Many of these thoughts don’t serve us and they are repeated over and over like a broken record.

Dr. David Hawkins M.D., Ph.D. (Western code for hey, this guy is very intelligent!) reminds us in one of his many books about the path of enlightenment called Letting Go:  The Pathway of Surrender that “if negative emotions such as anger or fear are triggered, thousands of thoughts are born that create even more provoking and persuasive thoughts”. I like to think of the mind as the news ticker, like the one running across the bottom of the screen on Fox News - constant garbage streaming non-stop and without much truth!

Yoga recognizes the unbridled dominance of the mind with its preferences and apparent desire to be anywhere but the present moment as the root of suffering, a barrier to expanded consciousness, and the basis of disease. More importantly, yoga offers us practices to balance the manomaya kosha with the rest of our being, to train the mind, and to find deeper peace and lasting joy.

The yogic path asks us to use our power of consciousness to bring awareness to who is listening to these thoughts, believing them and acting on them. Once we realize through experience that we are not these thoughts, but the one identifying with them, we can find space to bring awareness to our own mental patterns and emotions as they present themselves. We can watch these waves come to shore without getting swept up by them. And we can hone this practice through meditation.

The practice of meditation offers us a training ground from which we can build this awareness and gain some perspective.  For me, a great tool to help release these places of resistance is called The Work by Byron Katie.  The Work is simple, but not easy and it has been a powerful tool for me personally in examining my own thoughts.  It’s only four questions to ask one’s self in honest contemplation about persistent negative thoughts and emotions. First, one writes down the troubling thought so the mind can’t try to wiggle out of the absurdity of it later, and then ask yourself these questions:

1.      Is it true?

2.      Is it absolutely true? (Like, forever.)

3.      What if the opposite thought were true? (Flip that baby in reverse and consider it.)

4.      What would I be without this thought or belief? (Or, what would be happening in this moment if the emotional power of the thought were stripped away?)

The technique often helps me bring awareness to my mental resistance and chatter.  It helps me find some peace.  It helps me accept reality instead of getting swept away into negative thoughts and emotions.  I hope it works for you too.

As we examine the mind with consciousness, we hopefully learn to process what we feel and accept life as it is unfolding right now without resistance. The deeper practice invites us to not only accept, but skillfully welcome the whole messy enchilada that is life while we follow our hearts and live out our hopes and dreams. I know this is a lot. It feels to me like a life long practice.

But, when I do surrender and remember who I am beyond my thoughts and emotions,  I am filled with a deep and abiding peace. 

Please don’t take my word for any of this.  Simply practice and see for yourself.

“You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.”
― Franz Kafka

Could a Gratitude Practice Save the World?

Have you ever wondered why you often hear your yoga teacher yammering on about GRATITUDE?  You've probably been to a class with this theme, yes?  At least on Thanksgiving! 

So what is the connection between yoga and gratitude? 

Yoga is the art of knowing our own true nature by bringing in self-awareness.  Gratitude is thankfulness or appreciation.  It's rooted in the Latin word gratus which means thankful or pleasing. In modern pop psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude has been scientifically shown to make people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships. It can even enhance our relationship with others.

All good stuff!  But this doesn't explain its connection to yoga. 

Yoga asks the practitioner to become aware of experiencing themselves in the present moment, without judgement.  This is also the modern definition of mindfulness which was coined by Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn whose clinical study gave great weight to the power of mindfulness in transforming our relationships with pain and stress, and the negative emotions surrounding illness.  Dr. Kabat-Zinn defines nine essential qualities of mindfulness of which one is gratitude. 

So yoga is not just stretching and breathing.  It's focus is less on the workout and more on mindfulness and raising consciousness.  But there are many levels of mindfulness and consciousness we can attain.  For example, you can be mindful that you are breathing.  Great.  It's good headway into being present and out of the thought patterns that predominate most of our minds. You can also take on a higher awareness that this smooth, easy breath you are drawing in brings a beautiful life force of energy that is the basis of your life.  Gratitude is that "higher consciousness" that comes by being thankful for the goodness you already enjoy right now in this moment. 

"Gratitude is a simple, yet powerful form of mindfulness that deepens our connection to the beautiful people, places, events, and things in our world. "Timothy Burgin, yogi and author.

So within our consistent practice of yoga or other mindfulness practices we can see that cultivating a practice of gratitude has the power to lift our level of consciousness even higher.  In looking into "higher consciousness" I ran into a beautiful diagram designed by the esteemed spiritual enlightenment teacher Dr. David Hawkins called the Vibrational Scale. Dr. Hawkins places gratitude right at the top levels of consciousness- above joy even.

So what's the big deal with this higher level of consciousness derived from practicing gratitude? 

Not only will we each individually find more peace in the celebration of our great abundance, this higher consciousness might benefit the world.  Here's my line of thinking.  If Einstein is correct when he said that, "We can’t solve problems with the same thinking we used when we created them,”  perhaps raising collective consciousness through something as easy as counting our blessings might benefit our society as a whole. 

I think the Reverend Monica McIntyre of the Center of Light said it best when she said, "we need to transcend that level of thinking and open ourselves to insights and ideas we can’t anticipate at our present level of awareness. It is reasonable to think that transformative spiritual development might provide an elevated platform from which to see the world differently—a place where creative, innovative ideas can merge with compassion and skillful action, unimpeded by ideologies, labels and past conditioning."

In this week of protests and violence and looting around the tragic death of George Floyd (whose neck was pinned down under the knee of a police officer until he was asphyxiated leading to his death) reveal a deep need for some new solutions to our society's problems with abuse of power, racism, anger and injustice. 

Moreover, last night Sixty Minutes revealed the depth of the environmental disaster that is the Tijuana River poisoning the families living in poverty along its banks and spilling up to 40 million gallons of RAW UNTREATED SEWAGE and harmful chemicals into the Pacific Ocean not 30 miles from here every day.  We Americans just spent $1 billion on a new Naval Seal training center at the mouth of the Tijuana River and $50 million on a border wall and did nothing to stop this crime upon the earth.  If you haven't seen the piece, please take several deep slow breaths and then check it out. 

I digress. ; ) And maybe practicing gratitude is not the only answer we need right now, but it's simple and is proven to bring happiness and greater awareness which might even lead to better solutions for our world. 

Gratitude is one of the highest states of yoga one can achieve and it is practice that can lead to enlightenment.   I hope to see you this week to practice gratitude for our amazing bodies and yoga.  I'll close with Rumi (and drop the mike).

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.  Rumi

Namaste,

Krista

My health journey into cannabis (CBD)

I’ve never taken much of an interest in drugs of any kind. Being a recovering “Type A” I just didn’t feel I had the time for that.  But, as I age, I keep on changing.  Many of my yogi friends use pot for a variety of reasons (relaxation, pain-relief, heightened sensory awareness, energy perception, quieting of the mind, etc.).

Being an avid gardener, I experimented with growing this legal plant in California from seed (two different Cannabis sativa varieties) with my friend Randy this past spring.  It was really satisfying to watch this vigorous plant come to life and it was easy to keep alive.  It was so easy to grow that I learned firsthand why it’s called “weed”!

Recently, my lovely friend Piper for invited me to listen to Erica Oberg ND speak on cannabis at the local garden club meeting.  I learned lots of interesting stuff and though I would share some if with you.   

Here are five of the most interesting things I learned this week about cannabis, and more specifically the component CBD in cannabis:

1. The endocannabinoid system in the body has something called "tone" and can be optimized with CBD to promote good health in many ways.

2. The endocannabinoid system runs in sync with one's nervous system and one's immune system. CBD resets CB2 receptors for optimal immune health and reduced inflammation as well as providing a powerful antioxidant to the body. CBD (and some small amounts of THC) can be a miracle for those who suffer from fibromyalgia, Parkinson's Disease (we watched a miraculous video where it took a man with noticeable dyskinesia spasms from Parkinson's disease only two minutes to stop all spasms) and osteoarthritis (me!)

3. CBD is a fatty acid like "good" fish oil or flax seed oil and adequate Omega-3 levels are required for a good CBD response. Furthermore, Dr. Oberg thinks B Vitamins also help this response.

4. Doses of CBD oil should be kept to 5 mg or lower and the active CBD best utilizes organic hemp as a carrier.  The best way to find the dosage optimal for you is to experiment. Perhaps you’ll try the non-psychoactive CBD first which might help deepen your connection to your experience, reduce pain and relax the mind as it does for me.  Perhaps you’ll add in a little THC to the mix to relieve chronic pain, deepen your sensory and energetic experience, but please no driving!   Studies show consistently that you won’t turn into a pot head, but you may in fact get the munchies.

5. www.cbdoilreview.org is a good place to research CBD products and many of these products can be ordered online and delivered to your door (so you don't have to dress incognito and skulk into a wacky local dispensary to be served by someone who may work “high”!)  After using the research on this site, I purchased Endoca Hemp Oil with one drop containing 5 mg of CBD.  (The stuff is expensive, but maybe I’ll get a discount for this plug?)

I’ve only been using daily 5 mg doses of organic CBD a short while now, but notice almost immediate results in relaxing my nervous system and reducing inflammation in my chronically inflamed knee (due to osteoarthritis). The dosage is strong and I’ve decided to use it right before I go to bed because frankly, I find it a bit too relaxing to use during the day.  I also think it might help my allergies by regulating my overly-active immune response to all the yellow Acacia pollen floating around this time of year. I plan on trying Endoca’s Hemp Balm next which is applied topically to specific areas of the body to directly target the inflammation in my knee.

Perhaps it’s time to release old stories we hold around cannabis and try CBD to feel well and maximize your health?    

What works for me...the top three reasons I feel great

Being in the "healthcare industry" now seems like a revelation.  And I truly mean HEALTH + CARE industry as opposed to the medical system.  But let's just gloss over that elephant in the room to something more hopeful and positive like how good I feel at 46! 

In fact, I can easily say I feel much better at 46 than I did at 40 or 41, or 42, or 43, or 44.  45 was pretty good, but I feel better now (see hormones). I don't feel perfect (knee still arthritic) or young or skinny or accomplished or successful to any quantifiable degree.  I just feel better.

I've been thinking about why that is and I wanted to share it to see if my path to feeling great might help some of my friends who may have stumbled onto this blog.  Here are some things that have helped me:

1.  Connection: 

Lately I feel more connection in my life with people, students,  ideas, and the garden. That's a lot more connection that I'd been making before this last year. My astute teacher Ashton Szabo helped me realize that the best yoga teachers personally connect and care for their students.   This approach to my own yoga instruction has blessed me way more than any of my students.  This skill requires greater receptivity and an acknowledgement that we are all deeply connected already and has opened me to way more people in general this year (not just students.) 

Here's another amazing thing that has improved my life this year.  I've been studying enough philosophy and yogic thought to start to see how one teaching connects with that of another school of thought and how that ancient school of thought is being reapplied by modern writers such as Alan Watts, Mark Nepo, Stephen Cope, Charlies Eistenstein, and Eckhart Tolle.  It's all connected and it's all pointing me to unity, acceptance and service and love. 

2.  Yoga, meditation, and fitness:

I'll lump all of my yoga and fitness pursuits together and put them just behind connection in making forty-six feel amazing. Because I work a lot less than I used to and have a wonderful sponsor and partner in Piet Aldrich, I'm still enjoying the privilege of strengthening and opening my body and mind almost every day.  Ahhhh and it feels amazing- downright fun for a kin-esthetic person like me whose favorite high (after instructing a yoga class) is feeling deeply into my own body. 

I'm also loving these meditation apps that are out there:  Insight Timer, Biofeedback, YouTube videos. They allow me to squeeze in a five to 20 minute meditation almost anywhere (like sitting in my car on the 101 in front of Rubios waiting to pick up a kid from Jr. Lifeguards).  It is truly an amazing world we live in where we have this kind of magic at our fingertips.

3.  Other Self-care: 

When I was working too much and into the wee hours of the morning designing landscapes in the cracks of space around familial obligations, I royally messed up my endocrine system.  My adrenals took the brunt of it, but I also messed up my sex hormones.  I can assure you it's something you want to avoid at all costs.  I felt exhausted all day, insomnia at night, no sex drive, anxiety, and brain fog.  I gained weight around my middle and didn't feel like going out or socializing.  It was rough. 

Luckily, a combination of efforts got me back on track towards wellness.  My research guided me to a ton of expensive supplements* (see full list below).  But, I'd be the first to admit that those supplements wouldn't mean much without the changes I made in my lifestyle. One of the most profound changes was just getting to sleep earlier. That means being asleep by 11:00 pm. Yes, your mom was right.  Nothing good happens after 11:00 pm. A quick Google search of "adrenals and sleep" will confirm what I'm saying a thousand times over.  I also took on less landscape design work and added a consistent and daily yoga practice. I ate better, more regularly, less, and improved my gut health.  I realize those are broad generalizations, but I'm afraid diet and gut health might be a whole separate blog by someone way more knowledgeable that me. 

One of the less obvious things that helped me was filling a prescription for testosterone from my OBGYN who confirmed through blood tests that I was well below any normal range.  After two years, I stopped taking the testosterone- thinking that I had been feeling well for a couple of years and didn't need it any more. I quickly regained the spare tire around my waist and got that late afternoon fogginess back. My last blood test confirmed that I still did need the testosterone even after everything else had recovered.  I have since learned that once you mess those sex hormones up, they hardly ever recover.  And mama, I assure you it feels better to have your hormones in their optimal ranges.  Here are the hormones you might want to check if you're a woman my age:  Testosterone Free and Total, DHEA, FSH, Estradiol, and Progesterone. Ask your OBGYN for a panel at your annual check up. 

I got things back on track over the course of a couple of YEARS.   Yes, it took years to feel like myself again. I hate to think that any other working mama could be out there feeling tired, fat, anxious, sleepless and irritable and feeling that that might be their new "normal".  It's not normal at all and you deserve better.  I wish you the best of luck on your journey to health and balance. We all deserve to feel great.

 *Supplements I take for maxed out adrenals:  Dr. Wilson's slow-release Vitamin C, DHEA (15 mg/day, but careful not to over-do this hormone precursor) Vitamin B5 or Pantothenic Acid.

Other Supplements I take that most could benefit from:  Vitamin D3 (I read somewhere that a majority of Americans are low in D3), Omega 3 fatty acids (my friend Dave who has a company that makes Omega 3's says we need over 3000 mg/day for optimal health), B12, Mega Food Blood Builder (iron and multivitamin) and Calcium with Magnesium. I know that's a ton of costly vitamins, and  I'd be the first to admit that those supplements wouldn't mean much without the changes I made in my lifestyle.